Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; “Which are you?”

Grandmother says…

Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; “Which are you?”

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?”

Image“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. “What’s the point,grandmother?”

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity–boiling water–but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter.

“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?  Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?


Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Your Guy

Only 67 Days Till Christmas Ladies

Now is about the time I start thinking about Christmas shopping and since my life is filled with males (my dad, 3 sons, 2 grandsons, brothers, nephews, etc.), not only am I racking my brain trying to figure out what gifts to get them, each year I have to be creative about what goes in their stockings too.

Shopping for stocking stuffers gives us an opportunity to find unique, fun, and small goodies that add an extra special touch to our loved ones’ Christmas morning joy.  I love watching the look on their faces when they explore what Santa brought for them each year.

I try to find at least one item in each of the following category’s for each person’s stocking:
    1. Food, Drink, or Snack (candy, fruit, flavored coffee)
    2. Personalized item (monogrammed key ring)
    3. Something they wouldn’t buy for themselves
    4. Article of clothing (scarf or beanie)
    5. Fun gag-gift
    6. Something for their vehicle
    7. A personal item (nail clippers, etc.)
    8. Something they would find very useful (extra mobile phone charger, etc.)
    9. A personal something from me

I hope some of the ideas below make your shopping trip for stocking stuffers a little easier this year.  If you want to add a little more excitement on Christmas morning, just for giggles why don’t you wrap a few of the stuffers.

“Stuff” For Guys

Here are 100 ideas to help you kick start and tackle your Christmas lists this year.

Things We Want Our Guy to Know (Part 2)

Women are a smidge more complicated then men, so it took another posts to list our most important “Things we want our guy to know.”  Just so you don’t freak, this is the last of the two-part post.

Guys, keep in mind these are general topics and they may vary a bit with your sweetie, but I promise you…some way, somehow…they are a part of her.

And so they continue…

51.  Gifts don’t always have to be fancy.  Sometimes, a simple card that shows you didn’t forget the occasion means more than anything materialistic. It’s not what you spend– it’s the meaning behind it. Let us repeat: we really do love the little things you do for us!

52.  Don’t ever tell us we’re “crazy” or “overly emotional” or “over reacting”. If you do, be prepared to deal with how “crazy” we can really be. And yes, it’ll be all your fault!

53.  If you don’t want us to think you’re a dog, don’t act like one. That means don’t hump our legs on the dance floor. And yes, your friends do say a lot about who you are. If they act like dogs, we’ll assume you all belong in the dog pound together.

54.  You are sexy when you’re: shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, or holding a baby.

55.  We do not grow and change through criticism (do you?).

56.  We need to hear how you feel about us.  Tell us and tell us often (but not 10 times a day, then we won’t believe you.)

57.  Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more lovin’ comin’ your way.

58.  Communication goes a long way.  If you are having a bad day or are upset about something tell us.  We are nurturers by nature so if you need to vent or just need a little space, let us know.  You’ll be surprised by how understanding we can be; but take it out on us, and you’ll have another problem to add to your list.

59.  We didn’t like frat boys when we were in college and now that we are older and wiser that has not made them anymore appealing.

60.  We want to be the best thing that ever happened to you—and for you to recognize this.

61.  Don’t put cologne/deodorant “down there” if you want us to go “down there”.  It tastes like licking Windex (not that we have ever tasted Windex, but we can only imagine.)

62.  We want to be more important than your job.

63.  We like it when you tell us what you’re thinking, even if you don’t know yourself.

64.  When you ask us if something is wrong and we say “nothing,” you better believe it’s not nothing.  There is something wrong and we are just waiting for you to figure out what it is without us telling you.

65.  Celebrating our anniversary, even if it’s only been a few months, earns major brownie points.

66. Compromising goes a long way.  If we’re willing to sit through the game (and yes some of us may actually be into the sport/team) then we want you to “suffer” for our happiness too.

67.  It’s best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

68.  Yes we want to cuddle after sex.  If we don’t  we’ll tell you, but you sure as hell better try; and no, we don’t always want to spoon.

69.  If we are special to you, we should always be greeted with kisses.

70.  We like it when our is spontaneous and does things for us without being asked.

71.  I might watch porn (with you)…sometimes; but If I don’t want to watch it with you, while we are together you probably should not watch it either (alone or with buddies).  If we watch it together…see #79 for über important tip.

72.  Time with you is much more valuable to us than more money.

73.  We love grabbing your rear-end when hugging you.

74.  We’ll admit sometimes it makes us nervous when you go out with the guys, so be the amazing guy you are and let us know you’re thinking of us.  It’ll make us smile and prevent any arguments in the future when the boys want a night out.

75.  Be a gentleman! That means pick us up for our date; come to our door, open the car door, hold open any/all doors, pull out our seat, and pour our first glass of wine. Prove to us that chivalry didn’t die with our parents’ generation.

76.  Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public with their man.

77.  It IS cheating as soon as you are doing something with her that you wouldn’t want us to see, hear, read, or otherwise know about!

78.  For the record: we’d rather you break up with us than cheat.

79.  DO NOT emulate anything you have seen in porn.

80.  “Just Because” flowers are way better than “I’m Sorry” flowers.

81.  Nice guys don’t finish last.

82.  You do not need to have buns of steel.

83.  Cheap-skate = deal-breaker.

84.  You do not always have to pay for everything.

85.  Not calling when you say you will…is the kiss of death.

86.  It’s okay to leave a toothbrush and deodorant at our place.

87.  Some of us have male friends who are either: 1) gay and are just like our girlfriend, or 2) like a brother to us.  In either case, you have nothing to be concerned about.

88.  Relationships take time and effort from both parties.

89.  Real women are not like the ones portrayed in men’s magazines. You will not find us in the middle of a field straddling the hood of a car in camouflage lingerie for no apparent reason.

90.  Just as men are natural in the hunt and pursuing…we like being pursued.

91.  Manicures and pedicures are a woman’s gift to her fella.  We love looking pretty for you.  The time to worry is when we stop getting them for no clear reason (other than moving, renovation/yard work, or other tasks that will destroy them.)

92.  We were falling in love with you long before we uttered the words.  Waiting until we are “sure” is in our DNA.  We don’t throw a “Hail Mary” in the first quarter (and you thought we didn’t know football.)

93.  You ARE the best lover we have ever had.  All others cease to exist when we are together.

94.  Make us laugh, we are happy.  Laugh at yourself and we are all yours.

95.  We like to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

96.  “Wife Beaters” are not an adequate form of fashion.

97.  Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

98.  Boobs bruise.

99.  2+ drinks = zero “O’s”

and finally

100.  Harder does not mean faster.

There ya have it guys.  Although you still may not completely understand the “ladies”, by now you should have clearer picture of where we’re coming from and how we think.

If you put any of these “things guys should know” into action and would like to share the outcome, please “Talk To Me” in the comment box below.  You can post anonymously if you’d like. 

Things We Want Our Guy to Know (Part 1)

There are some universal truths that women believe all men should (but don’t) understand. Lucky for you, through various sources I have compiled a list of some things gals would like to tell our fellas.

If we haven’t otherwise verbalized them to you, here they are…

1.  Saying “I love you” immediately before, during, or following sex doesn’t count.

2.  We will leave if you lie.

3.  We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.

4.  “Fine” is never an appropriate response when we ask you how we look.

5.  Most of the time when we fantasize…it is about you.

6.  We are terrified of becoming our mother, even though we admire her.

7.  We get excited by simply seeing that we have an e-mail from you.

8.  We expect you to call us.

9.  It turns us on when you move our hair to tenderly kiss our neck.

10.  Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

11.  Please listen.  Not because what we are about to say will rock your world, but because listening is a sign of respect that rocks our world.

12.  We are scared of losing our independence.

13.  Oral pleasure is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

14.  You did something bad. We seem cool with it. Umm..we’re not! (See #13.)

15.  If we are not having sex with you, we are either; a) having a fat day; b) not feeling well; c) not feeling “connected” to you; or d) blackmailing you to get something we want.  (Most likely it is NOT “d”)

16.  Never, ever forget a birthday or anniversary. Write it down, put it in your phone or calendar to remind you.

17.  Shoes determine whether you’re fashionable or not.

18.  Take control in the bedroom. Don’t ask “Is this okay?” Trust us, if we don’t like it we will let you know!

19.  Getting a bikini wax is the most painful thing ever. We do it for you. You better appreciate it.

20.  While it is the age of the independent woman, we do want to be cared for.  In return, we will take care of you.

21.  Yes, it bothers us when you check out, comment, or drool over other women.  It’s not because we’re insecure but we put effort into how we look for you and we would like for it to be appreciated.  Besides, it’s just rude! Have some manners and show your lady the respect she deserves.

22. Court us. Treat us like the lady we are. That includes paying on a first date. In fact, don’t even make us feel like we have to do a courtesy gesture and reach for our wallet.  If not, we’ll find a man who won’t ever let us reach for the bill or go dutch.

23.  Just because we are capable does not mean we want to do everything ourselves.

24.  Your pants should not be tighter than ours. Ever!

25.  Sexy lingerie is often itchy and uncomfortable so if we come out wearing it, you better have a big ‘ole smile on your face.

26.  We own a Debbie Gibson CD, and we are not afraid to use it.

27.  When giving a compliment, be specific.  We know we have nice legs, but if you tell me you love how my thigh curves “like that,” it’s a real turn-on.  Also, you should know that you can never give too many compliments, as long as they’re sincere.

28.  When we compare our flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing!

29.  When you are ready, we want you to tell us you love us; and we want you to match your actions to your words.

30.  Do not ever comment on our weight except to say how thin and beautiful we look.

31.  We are not your “mother.”  When we ask you to please pick up the towels (insert any object here), do the dishes (replace with any activity here) or remind you to do something (substitute for anything). Do it the first time we ask and we won’t even remind you of her. Trust us, being your mom is the last thing we want to be to you.

32.  Compliment us.  Telling us we are pretty, hot, beautiful, etc will never do any harm for either party involved. Thanks in advance.

33.  We love it when our guy plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date, impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys our favorite candy in advance when we’re just going to the movies.

34.  You should never tell us what to do.

35.  When we have a problem all we really want is for you to listen. Don’t try to fix it.  The only thing we really want is for your to hold us and let us know it will be okay.

36.  If we slept over, you owe us breakfast.

37.  Manscape!  Excessive hair anywhere is gross!

38.  We are suckers for romance.

39.  Our breasts love attention too.

40.  Confidence is more attractive than good looks; but being overly cocky is a total turn-off.  It’ll send our douche meter sky-rocketing.

41.  Emotion is not a sign of weakness. You can be vulnerable around us. However, if you cry at Hallmark commercials, we’ll be very uncomfortable. No woman wants a wimpy “Danny” downer.

42.  Boxer briefs are a good bet. Always!

43.  If you ask me out directly, your chances have increased greatly.

44.  We will be emotional sometimes. We can’t help it. It’s scientific so remember: this too shall pass… and then likely recur in another 28-days.

45.  We are impressed when you ask for our advice.

46.  We are unimpressed with a man who doesn’t take the lead a majority of the time.

47.  Bad hygiene is a TOTAL turn-off.  This includes: bad breath (carry Altoids, gum, a toothbrush – we don’t care), dirty fingernails (sure bet we don’t let you touch us), BO (wear deodorant or cologne – just don’t overdo it), etc.  We want to know you take care of yourself because it shows you’re capable of taking care us.

48.  A few words of appreciation go a long way.

49.  When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

50.  We love it when you reach for and hold our hand, even in public.

(Part 2 on 9/15 )

Stuff Guys Are Dying to Tell Us…

…But Can’t Won’t

It has been a long-standing belief that guys fill their days minds thinking about beer, sports, and sex.

After catching up on my reading this summer, I have learned that is not necessarily the end of their thoughts.  It seems, in addition to the three subjects listed above, guys spend a good amount of time thinking about their significant other/wife/girlfriend (hopefully he only has one of these at any given time), or he envisions what his future wife/girlfriend/significant other will look like.  He thinks about the color of her hair, her smile, her scent, her profession, and where/when they will meet.

Compiled from several public sources (internet and print), below is a list of things guys wish we knew about them and what they are thinking!

1.  You are more powerful than you think.

In that single moment when you glance in our direction, we lock eyes, and all we feel is our heart beating through our chest!  You have us; and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it!

2.  Shopping is a chore, not an activity.

3.  When I screw up, go ahead and tell me—once.

4.  No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I’m inside.  I love you less with each syllable you utter.

5.  My guy friends, not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.

6. You are beautiful, even when you don’t try so hard.

I wish women knew even though we appreciate you taking hours to get dressed and ‘put on your face,’ it’s no longer necessary.  Superficial beauty catches our attention but natural beauty keeps it.

7.  Don’t be afraid to ditch the makeup.  Natural is sexier.

8.  Your teenage tendencies are a major turn off.

9.  We enjoy romance, but sometimes doubt our skills to be romantic or in meeting your romantic expectations.

10.  We would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected

11.  DVD’s don’t make the perfect gift.

I wish women knew that just because we talk about our favorite movie all the time, we don’t want it on DVD as our Christmas gift. We already own it. Actually, we don’t want DVDs period. It’s 2012.

12.  You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.

13.  Drop hints to avoid disappointing gifts, please!

14.  We mean well.

As guys, we’re always trying to do or say something with the best of intentions, but it always seems to backfire. We mean well. Give us the benefit of the doubt once in a while!

15.  Saying “I love you” is a huge step for a guy.

Everybody wants to hear “I love you” at some point. But copping to those three little words is arguably a bigger step for men than women and it isn’t uttered lightly. Rushing a man makes him worry that you are more in love with the idea of being in love with someone — anyone — than paying attention to what’s really happening between the two of you.

16.  We care about much more than looks.

Women need to know that looks aren’t the only thing that matters to us. If I want to be in a relationship with somebody, I need to have a deeper connection with them than just the physical. The best thing that a woman could do to attract me is to be herself.

17.  Independent women are very sexy, but it’s nice to be needed…as long as you don’t demand all our time.

18. Cookies, cakes and the kitchen.

When you cook for us, it’s the sexiest thing ever. We love food and we love women, so a woman who can feed us pretty much covers all the bases. Watching you cook is better foreplay than pretty much anything, unless you’re cooking wearing only an apron, then it is the best foreplay — ever.

19.  When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.

20.  Confidence is sexier than any lingerie

21.  We like watching chick flicks like Chocolat with you because we learn something. That doesn’t mean we won’t make fun of it behind your back.

22.  When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you’re nice about it.  Bark, and we shut down.

23.  We are insecure — just like you.

24.  There’s no better sound in the world than you, having the big “O”.

25.  Let me think I am the funniest guy you know.

Ladies, we don’t like when you’re laughing too hard at another man’s jokes. Unless we’re at a comedy club or he’s your father, there’s no reason for that.

26.  I just may lie to make you feel good.  Don’t be angry about this; you really weren’t looking for the truth anyway.

27.  It means something when we introduce you to our friends.

Long, lingering dates and cocooning together at home are wonderful in the early days of any relationship, but there comes a point where integration — or, more specifically, the lack of it — into a man’s life can signal that this guy doesn’t see you as his girlfriend. If you’re still spending all your time alone together with nary a friend or family member of his in sight after a few months, don’t get confused: you’re having some kind of an affair, not a relationship.

28.  Spring means baseball and skirts.  Doesn’t need to be a mini-skirt; it’s been a long winter.

29.  We crave hugs and hand-holding too.  And no, it doesn’t always have to lead to sex. (But you can have sex with us anytime you want, did we mention that?)

30.  Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.

31.  If I offer my help while you’re getting ready, it means you are running late.

32.  You don’t really want to know what we’re thinking.

Men’s minds, like their eyes, tend to wander. You ask, “What are you thinking?” And you get a blank stare. It’s not because we’re not thinking anything, but because we know you don’t care about the finer points of a 3-4 defense, who would win in a fight between a ninja and a pirate (ninja, in case you’re wondering), or how many hot dogs we think we could eat in 20 minutes. So, when we reply, “How beautiful you are…” Just accept it.

33.  Sometimes we wait too long to call after a date because we’re scared we’ll mess things up or seem desperate.

34.  You are really bad at faking it.

35.  Women have so many ways of loving someone. We have to learn to train our emotions to work like that.

36.  Even we like compliments every once in a while.

37.  When we ask what you’re wearing, describe something sexy…even if you’re in a sweat suit.

38.  We shove our feelings deep down inside and never bring them up again. That’s why we don’t live as long as women do.

39.  A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public.  Especially in public.

40.  We love ponytails.

41.  We don’t mind being told we look good.  Just don’t call it a “cute outfit.”

42.  Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words “naked” and “waiting.”

43.  Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman’s problems.  But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.

44.  We go crazy over a beautiful smile.

45.  Never say, “I know you better than you know yourself.” Nobody does!

46. We get nervous about having sex with you for the first time too, especially if there’s been a lot of buildup to that moment.

47.  We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, “Do you think she’s pretty?”

48.  We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.

49.  Men like it when women make the first move.  No, really, we do.

50.  No, I don’t remember what (s)he said next, or anybody, for that matter.  I’m a guy, not a tape recorder.

51.  Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.

52.  For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.

53.  If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room

54.  I don’t ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.

55.  Guys are stuck in the Stone Age…and we like it!

I wish women understood that no matter how much they may think their man is evolved, we are very basic. Even the most manscaped guy in a Brooks Brothers suit is a caveman at heart. Let us grunt and be ourselves and we will gladly drag your dinner home.
Check back tomorrow for the other side and some of the “Things we want our guy to know.”