19 Things You Won’t Hear A Woman Say

  1. Honey you don’t need to stop; I’m sure you’ll figure out how to get us there.
  2. Here, pull my finger.
  3. Can we spend the day in watching golf?
  4. You can have lunch and dinner at Hooters today.
  5. No it wasn’t the dog…it was me.
  6. Honey…our neighbor’s daughter is sunbathing nude again, hurry come look!
  7. What do you mean today is our anniversary?
  8. I love when my pillow smells like your cigars.
  9. Hey, did you get a whiff of that one?!
  10. That diamond is just too big!
  11. Tell me again, but with much more detail about your golf game.
  12. A new vacuum for my birthday…thank you sweetie, just what I wanted.
  13. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they can still recover.
  14. Mow the lawn?  Are you crazy?  Get yourself back on the couch and take a nap.
  15. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
  16. Honey take off those smelly socks and let me give you a foot massage?
  17. And for our honeymoon we’re going ice fishing in Alaska!
  18. No, I don’t feel like going out to eat. I’d rather stay home and cook for you tonight.
  19. Wow my abs are sore this morning; it must have been those 200 crunches I did yesterday.
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3 Responses to 19 Things You Won’t Hear A Woman Say

  1. russtowne says:

    Sounds accurate to me. I’ve been married for about 33 years and have never heard my wife utter 17 of the 19 of them. She “failed” the test on #10 and #12. (Keep in mind she had to be wierd to stay married to me for so long.) And in fairness to me, it was our adult kids who bought her the vacuum and only after she BEGGED for a specific one. We raised our kids to know better than to give a vacuum to a woman, but in this case they knew that was EXACTLY the gift that would make her happiest. Like I said, she’s wierd, and I bless my lucky stars that she is. ‘Cuz I’m wierder.

    • Mendy K. says:

      Ha ha ha….thanks for sharing with us. I was laughing while reading your comment. We gals all have our special little things that make us tick and I guess the vacuum was it for your wife (she sounds like a lovely lady). I’m sure everyone involved is happy when they are given exact specifics about what a lady wants for a birthday gift….cannot go wrong there. So, for this instance, your wife did NOT fail, she was a huge success by speaking up and making her wishes known.

      Many blessings to you and your wife, I hope you continue to stop by Life’s Adventures.

  2. Pingback: 7 Things About Me « The Hand-Written Life

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