When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious rants about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every day…. uphill, both ways, in the snow, barefoot, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it! But now that I’m the ripe old age of forty something, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
They have it so flippin’ easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a friggin’ Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you have it!
1) When I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to ride our bikes, take a bus or walk to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen and paper! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10-cents way back then!
3) Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents spanked us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to correct us! Nowhere was safe to be rude, disrespectful, mean, or look for trouble! We were made to be accountable for our actions and suffered the punishment.
4) There were no MP3’s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to record it from the radio and hope the DJ didn’t talk halfway through it. There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape (8-track or cassette) and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. (If you had a cool new cassette player, it automatically switched sides of the tape, no more popping it out and flipping it over to play the other side.) Cause, hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn’t have fancy crap like “call waiting”! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal and they would have to wait and call you back, that’s it!
7) There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your “friends.” OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please!
8) And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, or the collection agent…. you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up, say hello and take your chances!
9) We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders‘ and ‘Asteroids’… and your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! Additionally, there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen, one level…forever, and you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! When you channel surfed you had to get off your butt, walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what’s the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!
12) We didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no! No electronics to soothe and comfort; and if you came back inside… you were doing chores!
14) Car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot-gun” in the first place! See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
You kids today have it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980’s or any time before then.
(too funny not to share, some modifications made to clean it up)